Inject the Cheetos into my VEINS PLZ

CHEETOS Crunchy Cheddar Jalapeno Flavored Snacks. So. Fucking. Dope. It’s like they read my mind. My favorite cheese thing slathered in Jalapeno toppings, I WOULD LITERALLY KILL MYSELF IF THEY DIDN’T EXIST. No. Seriously. CaN U Handle X-Treme Cheesiness at like a million watts were talkin illegal basically ??  I challenge you to eat a bag without finding God. Frito Lays will pay for college if you miss out on Christ. I MEAN MY FUCKING GOD CHEESE+JALAPENO and a dank little package with a cheetah wearing shades. How do you not identify with animals on TV? I look into their eyes, and I see myself, an equally cool animal also obsessed with breaking into cheese factories and wreaking havoc in the name of snacked goods. I think I am getting fat though, seriously. It must be time to die. if I had to pick a best friend, it would be those little orange cheese sticks. they were always there for me while my dad was in the army and my mom was just a solid dude. this is the year cheetos explode for good: FROM THE CORNERS OF THE GLOBE, IN EVERY PITIFUL FACTORY, THERE IS A BABY CHEETO THAT HAS NOT BEEN JALAPENO’d AND COULD VERY POSSIBLY END UP IN MY MOUTH. I PICTURE THESE CREATURES AS I PRAY, O TO GOD, LET THAT STICK BE ORTHODONICALLY CRUSHABLE AND DANGEROUSLY CHEESY. man, me and suzy had some great times together. remember when we fed each other cheetos and I talked about poetry and she pretend to hate cars?  I do not, of course, wish those days back, because cheetos and jalapenos were still separate entities, and suzy was still pregnant, boring, and flammable. I wonder what it was like when God made the cheeto, the greatest thing, and then increased its greatness with jalapeno, thereby negating the stars and the moon. it’s gonna be a big year for cheetos, mark my word, ah the bliss, oh the splendor, three hundred million American households caked in cheese, and hey, what the fuck is that cheetah’s real name, he seems like a chill guy, and i would love to hang with him.