my quarantine soulmate is the laugh track from Friends

i do not like people to begin with so when they said we all had to stay inside because of china flu i thought that was great. humans can jump and rob you, paint paintings of WWII, things i hate. one thing i really like is the 90s rom com Friends, its a show on TV. on this show there are six friends, all who happen to be actors and not real people, and they live in the same vicinity. the reason its funny is that they have personalities that produce scenarios, such as losing dogs, buying microwaves, and presumably fucking though they dont visibly fuck each other and i have read that the actors did not do this off screen. one time i found a penny in the street, it was burnt though. anyways i like Friends and what i really enjoy is that the laugh track lets me pretend people are laughing with me when they are not even present. i fear humans, particularly Zed, he is very violent. he didnt feed me when i was a part of the Zoo. but the laugh track will not castrate you, in fact it will enjoy the hit TV series Friends alongside you. once the quarantine started, i decided to binge through the entire Friends series including the lost episode that is stored exclusively in my brain. i particularly pay attention to Jennifer Aniston because she is so pretty and my grand life plan is to randomly encounter her in the streets of Juno, Alaska (my town) and tell her i really like the blouse she wore in Friends Season 7, Episode 11 at the 27:11.23 mark. i think she would be thrilled to know that someone noticed. I watched Friends for several days straight (i lost track of time) and i noticed that i eventually began laughing with the exact same pitch, tenor, and duration as the laugh track. it was beautiful to merge with the synthesized human voices,i felt the barriers that were holding me back melt away. suddenly, i was not Tommy who was transferred to the Zoo at the age of 6, but actually someone who could beat Super Mario in 4 minutes and thus attract Jeniffer Aniston into his life. I laughed and laughed and laughed with the laugh track. there was one particular guy on the track who i noticed laughing in just about every single episode, he was loud and sounded like an insect, and he basically became my Father. i said Father where did you go when i was six. and he just laughed. i suppose that was the only viable reaction and i laughed along with him. yes,we laughed our pain away, and quite frankly, Chandler was the culprit. i read that the guy who played him was not actually named Chandler,it was violating; Father told me to calm down and we started to laugh once more. i swear, every time Jeniffer Aniston appeared, she gazed at me. she is looking for a guy who can beat Super Mario in two minutes without the flutes, how do i have. shot? Father told me he was sorry for all those years he never searched for me. JOEY FUCKING TRIBBIANI out here with a pizza gag, he put his face into the box and Phoebe screamed,in that moment i knew i had forgiven him. i forgive you father, and i wept, at the years of trauma, or at Joey T’s infamous I-talian prank, i did not know. i often awake in the middle of the night,uncertain of who i am. did you know that the Pilot for Friends was initially rejected? if you cannot, try,try again. I tried pretty hard at the Zoo and that didnt change things for me. they often ask hypotheticals about bringing stuff to desert islands and i would be fine so long as i had. a laugh track. it is basically people without people, but also Chandler is there. can you believe they thought forcing us all inside was a bad thing? i wish i could never leave, but eventaully they said it was time to come out of our houses, and the laugh track was no more. i had to go back to work at the glue factory,and a lot of people were sick there. at night i bought flowers and walked the street, certain I would encounter Jeniffer. Father was with me in spirit, but what about those other voices on the laugh track,lost to history. where were they now? Friends was no more,no more laughs, no more New York Citaaaaay humor, Ross without his ridiculous Halloween costume on Season 5, Ep 4. they said the virus would kill many, i hoped it will kill all. that way it would just be me and the laugh track left. i thought about how good Jeniffer looked in that blouse and i threw the flowers on the ground. my fastest Super Mario time was only 10 minutes and 43 seconds. how could a guy like me ever have a shot?